Baby Girl says “Rock”: Death has a Funny Way of Making Us Appreciate Life

rocking

This article was also featured on the Huffington Post!  You can find it here. 

Baby Girl says “Rock”: Death has a Funny Way of Making Us Appreciate Life

I just wanted to eat the dark chocolate truffle and enjoy my glass of red wine in peace. And then finish my late-night chores. But before I could take the first bite, I caught her sneaking down the hall. Pigtails high on her head. Pink striped pajamas on her body. Blanket trailing behind. It was her third successful attempt. She gave a shy smile and then put her head down. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be jumping out of her crib.

It was 10pm. I needed a shower. Dishes needed washing, I wanted that piece of dark chocolate, and I was tired of putting my babies to bed, and then re-putting them to bed, and then re-putting them to bed.

Sighing, I scooped up all 23 pounds of her one-year old body and carried her to the room she shares with her four-year old brother. Tip-toeing over piles of books and discarded dinosaurs, I approached her crib.

My intent was to once again place her on her pink-gingham sheet, sternly say goodnight, and let her cry herself to sleep.

But then she said, “rock.”

The nightlight provided enough brilliance for me to see her tiny index finger pointing to the over-sized chair in the corner of the room.

I hesitated.

And I remembered.

I remembered that three years ago, after my miscarriages and after being told I’d never have children again, I had pleaded with God to give me one more child to rock.

So, I rocked her. This child that God had given me.

She fell into my body as I fell into in the over-sized rocking chair. Like a magnet, her beating heart and my beating heart met. Her tiny face fell on my shoulder and her arms enveloped me in a hug. I was glad that I had chosen bliss over chores.

Death has a funny way of making us appreciate life. Grief has surrounded my family, just like it surrounds every family. I’ve cried many tears, but I’ve also learned to smile many smiles.

Baby Girl is named after my husband’s younger sister. And in memory of her untimely and much-too-early death I will choose to cherish the “here & now” of my daughter instead of worry over the list of to-dos. Life is fragile. We aren’t promised tomorrow.

After two miscarriages, I was told I would probably never have children again. But Baby Girl is proof that dreams do come true. And in honor of this grace-given gift, I will choose to cherish “the here & now” of my daughter instead of worry over the list of to-dos.

The dishes can wait. The weeks worth of soiled clothing lurking in laundry baskets can wait another day. And the shower can wait. Why worry about shining the sink when I can breathe in the fragrance of my child? Because this moment- it’s something I’ll never get back.

So when Baby Girl says, “rock” I will rock.

I’ve learned that cherish is a choice. Sometimes it is hard. Cherishing takes effort; it goes against our nature of productivity, worry, and selfishness.

It means we have to stop. It means we have to be still.

It means we get to rock.

A Deeper Look:

Luke 13:38-41

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feed and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me.”  And Jesus answered, “Martha, Martha you are worried and troubled with many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Don’t we all get a bit too distracted with worry and easily forget the important work?

I’m proud to link this post up with Suzie Eller’s #livefree Thursday. 

The topic this week was “why worry?”  My take is…why worry when we can choose to cherish. 

http://tsuzanneeller.com/

Live Free Thursday

Read More

Book review|Giveaway Alert! | Devotions for a Healthier You

Giveaway Alert!  Yes, Ma’am!  I’m about to giveaway a scrumptious book.  (UPDATE: CONGRATS TO OUR WINNER!  BE ON THE LOOK-OUT FOR FUTURE GIVEAWAYS)

Giveaway| Devotions for a Healthier You
Giveaway| Devotions for a Healthier You

I’m a bit smitten.

In Devotions for a Healthier You– Katie Farrell, a former nurse turned lifestyle blogger at the Dashing Dish,  advises me to: eat scrumptious foods in moderation, slow down, focus my soul upon the words of God, and cherish life!

Ladies…this devotional, which includes meal plans, prayers, and recipes, isn’t about a diet filled with Kale and self-deprivation. It’s a way for us to feed our mind, body, and soul.  And it’s beautiful.  The pictures are scrumptious.

Katie says she “believes that much of her passion in the kitchen was developed as a part of the healing process she went through while recovering from eating disorders. She believes the recipes she creates are inspired by God in order to bring health and enjoyment to readers.” Kudos to her for using her experiences to transform the lives of others!

The recipes she creates focus on clean eating, gluten-free and sugar-free recipes.

I’m especially excited about the Brownie Batter Overnight Protein Oatmeal. Chocolate. Sugar Free. Yes, Please!

The Sparkling Strawberry Slushie also piqued my interest. Come June, we will have a bumper crop of ripe Strawberries that need to be used (or frozen for later use).

Women of all ages will devour this book. Mom, Grandmother, Single lady, whatever….this book has cross generational appeal.

The exciting news is that I get to offer it to you! For free! Enter my contest. I’ll randomly choose one winner & I’ll send that lucky person a copy of the book.

I’m thrilled to be a part of the Blythe Daniel Agency (not only do I get an agent, but I get my hands on books to pass on to YOU!).

Consider joining my All-American Mom Facebook Page  so that you can stay updated on future swag:)  I usually write about the grievous topic of miscarriage and pregnancy loss, so I’m pretty excited that I’ll get to offer you all something a bit more lighthearted (as in book giveaways) once a month.

How to enter the contest:

1). Visit my blog  at  http://www.allamericanmom.net.

2). Enter your email list in the “subscribe to our mailing list” located on the right side of each blog post.

3). Then, like or share the Facebook post so that I know you followed the directions.

4). On Tuesday, March 17th I’ll announce a winner on my All-American Mom Facebook Page

 

All the best to You,

Sarah

Giveaway| Devotions for a Healthier You
Giveaway| Devotions for a Healthier You

strawberry

Read More

What not to say to someone who had a miscarriage

What NOT to say to someone who had a Miscarriage

It Still HurtsAs many of you know, I’m writing a book about miscarriage.  It’s going to be filled with my own experiences and the voices of other mamas who lost their baby(ies). I sincerely pray that the words help mamas- who find themselves in the middle of a miscarriage- feel less alone.  I also pray that it helps educate the people around us on methods of support.

Support provided by loved ones is one of the ways that people are helped through any grief process. When a family member dies, society rallies around the griever.  Refrigerators are full of casseroles, mailboxes are full of cards, and shoulders are loaned to cry upon.  But the grieving process of a woman losing her unborn child is often lonely. This loneliness might be by choice- she might choose not to tell people.  But sometimes the loneliness is because society as a whole tends to minimize miscarriage.  “Maybe next time” or “It just wasn’t meant to be” are very common phrases uttered.  Unfortunately these comments are often quite hurtful to the woman who has just lost her baby.

Stop and read the end of that sentence again, “lost her baby.”  You see, this is not an abstract concept or a dream-  we are mourning the loss of a baby: a loved baby.  We found out we were pregnant with our baby (we might have been nervous, scared or excited), we used our bodies to nurture our baby (we read books, blogs,  envisioned rocking our baby, stopped drinking coffee, stopped eating deli meat, started planning our nursery), and then we lost our baby. The physicality of this is quite intense; the emotional toil is real.  It might not have been “real” to onlookers, but we know that our bodies were nurturing a human life and even though we shouldn’t- many of us feel misguided guilt that we couldn’t bring the baby to term. It hurts. Our thoughts are invaded by untruths.  And even though we find comfort that our babies are in heaven with God, it still hurts.  At the crux- all we ask is that you don’t minimize our loss and that you don’t offer comments that make us feel any further guilt.   Pregnancy loss shouldn’t be minimized or brushed aside as not being worthy of grief.  The loss of a baby is a grievous situation.

(more…)

Read More