Asking “Why God?” after a Miscarriage

Asking Why God after a miscarriage.  Christian.  Sarah PhilpottWhy God?

Why?

Why!!!!!

How could You do this to me?

After a miscarriage, or any traumatic event, we instinctively immerse ourselves in this question, don’t we?

And then we find ourselves even more confused.  And full of guilt.

Is it okay for a Christian to question God?  To feel angry at Him?

There is one thing I want you to know dear heart– you are not alone.  Don’t be ashamed. You are not a weak Christian for these emotions.

I’m going to speak truth. This theological question is something most–if not all– of us ask.  And anger is something that has sprung from deep within most all our souls.

Grief causes us to question.  To search.  To dig deep in our faith.  To even…dare I say…doubt.

The asking can become an obsession that has no answers, can’t it?

Laura L. Mills extrapolates on this question in Mourning a Miscarriage on Today’s Christian Woman.  You might want to read Mill’s journey of understanding.

Can I give you a small bit of advice?

Take control of your life by changing the focus of your question.

One shift  that helped me weather many storms is to replace why with what now?  

Sweet lady, eventually you’ll find yourself at a place where instead of asking why you can ask what now..

I don’t know why I had two miscarriages.  I asked why for a long time.  But I don’t want to live a life living in what could have been.  I’m living in the what now.  I want to live life to cherish each day.  I want to use the pain I felt to help others whose heart’s ache.

And if not, He is Still Good.  Daniel 3:1-24
And if not, He is Still Good. Daniel 3:1-24

I know that until I arrive in Heaven the why will not be answered.

Grief has taught me to question God and because of this, my faith increased.  But it wasn’t an overnight journey.

While your trudging through, don’t feel guilty if you need to shout, scream, and ugly cry at God for the next bit.  Dear heart, it’s how most of us begin. Eventually you’ll stop shouting at Him and start talking to Him and allow Him to comfort you.

And please know, if you want to speak to other women who are on the same journey as you we invite you to join our Loved Baby Christian Pregnancy Loss Support & Encouragement group.

We welcome anyone….even those questioning God.  What questions have you pondered?

Love and Blessings,

Sarah

 

 

 

About Sarah

Sarah Lewis Philpott, Ph.D lives in the south on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her two mischievous children (and one little baby!) and is farm wife to her high school sweetheart. It's quite the chaotic household, but she adores the blessings God has provided. Sarah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Literary Agency. Her book, Loved Baby: 31 Devotions for Helping you Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, will be published in October '17 by Broadstreet Publishing. You can go ahead an pre-order it on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, and at Christian Book. Sarah is a lover of coffee (black), rocking chairs, the outdoors, and Hemingway. Visit with Sarah at her All-American Mom blog where she writes about life on the farm and cherishing life in joy & in sorrow.

16 thoughts on “Asking “Why God?” after a Miscarriage

  1. Awesome message! I love the response of, “what now?” versus “why?”. I know God has purpose in everything, so I don’t ask why often, but sometimes I’m stuck on what to tell others when painful things occur to them. I will definitely share this with them. Thank you!

  2. Oh Sarah, I have never experienced this loss, but I have experienced tremendous hurt and loss over the past few years. I questioned God daily. Through those questions He began to show me more love, grace, and faith than I could have imagined. That is when I started thinking of Be Still. My growing had involved being still and allowing God to take control.
    In Christ..,

    1. I’m so sorry for your losses. This is such a common question, but it often makes us Christian women feel ashamed for our emotions. Thank you for reading!

  3. I had three miscarriages myself. One was late term and we had to bury the baby! One of the hardest times in my life. God is gracious and He is faithful. We may never know why but we do know Who! Thanks for sharing this! It will help many. God Bless:)

    1. Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry for all your losses. I imagine it was and is one of the hardest times in your life. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

  4. Thank you for this post. There are so many circumstances in life that cause us to wonder where God is in it all. And you’re right, there are so many unanswered questions this side of Heaven. We need to cling to the truth you have shared here – God is good, and while we don’t always understand His ways, He is still good.

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