How could You do this to me?
After a miscarriage, or any traumatic event, we instinctively immerse ourselves in this question, don’t we?
And then we find ourselves even more confused. And full of guilt.
Is it okay for a Christian to question God? To feel angry at Him?
There is one thing I want you to know dear heart– you are not alone. Don’t be ashamed. You are not a weak Christian for these emotions.
I’m going to speak truth. This theological question is something most–if not all– of us ask. And anger is something that has sprung from deep within most all our souls.
Grief causes us to question. To search. To dig deep in our faith. To even…dare I say…doubt.
The asking can become an obsession that has no answers, can’t it?
Laura L. Mills extrapolates on this question in Mourning a Miscarriage on Today’s Christian Woman. You might want to read Mill’s journey of understanding.
Can I give you a small bit of advice?
Take control of your life by changing the focus of your question.
One shift that helped me weather many storms is to replace why with what now?
Sweet lady, eventually you’ll find yourself at a place where instead of asking why you can ask what now..
I don’t know why I had two miscarriages. I asked why for a long time. But I don’t want to live a life living in what could have been. I’m living in the what now. I want to live life to cherish each day. I want to use the pain I felt to help others whose heart’s ache.
I know that until I arrive in Heaven the why will not be answered.
Grief has taught me to question God and because of this, my faith increased. But it wasn’t an overnight journey.
While your trudging through, don’t feel guilty if you need to shout, scream, and ugly cry at God for the next bit. Dear heart, it’s how most of us begin. Eventually you’ll stop shouting at Him and start talking to Him and allow Him to comfort you.
And please know, if you want to speak to other women who are on the same journey as you we invite you to join our Loved Baby Christian Pregnancy Loss Support & Encouragement group.
We welcome anyone….even those questioning God. What questions have you pondered?
Love and Blessings,