Why Am I Writing About Miscarriage?

YOUR ANGUISH(1)

I live an abundantly blessed life.  Conjure up images of blue skies, pastureland, and cattle roaming right outside my windows.  Summers in the south.

I listen to Bob Marley on repeat, catch lightening bugs as they fly through the sky, and spend many nights with my house filled with friends–their raucous laughter echoing off my walls and our kids running a muck.

So why am I starting a blog about an uncomfortable and intensely sad topic many would rather evade?

The long and short of it involves God highly encouraging me to write a book about *miscarriage. And by highly encouraging, I mean he pretty much hit me over the head while I was doing my darnedest to ignore him and convince him to send me on a different direction.

I had been praying for guidance about my spiritual gifts.

Don’t knock unless you expect an answer, right?

Go ahead, roll your eyes. I used to always roll my eyes when people would preface a statement with, God Told Me (said in the voice of Morgan Freeman).

But a series of events happened that made it absolutely evident that writing about and creating support for women who have experienced the death of their womb baby should be my ministry.

So Loved Baby was born. Thirty selfless women joined forces with me.  They poured out their hearts and gave me permission to use their voices in a book I was crafting.

I then landed a literary agent. Praise God. I’m still pinching myself over this development. The book is now in the hands of my literary agent at the The Blythe Daniel Agency.

Currently, I am in the interlude of waiting. It’s a hard place to sit, but I’m learning patience. The manuscript will soon be set before the eyes of potential publishers. Will you keep praying me through this process?

I also started a Loved Baby Christian Pregnancy Loss Support & Encouragement group.  Loved Baby is an online sisterhood where women talk, vent, share experiences, grieve, heal, receive & give encouragement, and ask questions to other women. It’s a safe, non-judgmental, peaceful place for support and understanding.  Three other dynamic women, all with different pregnancy loss circumstances, help me run this group.

It’s full of real-talk and encouragement.  It’s full of, “I know what you mean” and “what did you do?”  Because we are all a part of this sisterhood of women who have babies born not onto Earth, but straight into Heaven.

Please ask to join.  We welcome you with loving arms.

I also started to blog at All-American Mom. I want this blog to offer Christian support to those affected by miscarriage and still-birth. It is my desire that women find this blog and come to realize that other sisters in Christ have felt similar pain and disappointment. 

Women feel very alone in their grief. Reading about others’ experiences is comforting. After my first miscarriage, my sister-in-law Mary, sent me a link to a blog post about sweet soul sharing her pregnancy loss with readers. I can’t tell you how much comfort this brought me.  It gave me permission to grieve and showed me I wasn’t alone.

It’s also important that women have access to accurate medical information and psychological support.  Many of my blog posts provide links to resources published by the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, March of Dimes, and other reputable sources.  I want to provide links that take you to primary source documents created by medical professionals.

This blog also has a section on “Helping Others Through Loss“.  So that friends and family can better empathize with the grieving parents and not utter insensitive comments.

 I’d also love to help develop and share cultural traditions for women and their partners with this type of grief. Losing a baby is a

Husbands/ fathers also have unique challenges with pregnancy loss.  In the future, I want to house information for fathers.

Above everything, my greatest intent is to help you mourn the loss of your loved baby and cherish the child that you cradled in your womb.  Peace be with you dear soul.

WHY AM I HESITANT TO BLOG?

To be perfectly candid, I am reluctant to blog. Squeamish to the point that typing this gives me butterflies and I have awakened at night wondering whether or not I should blog (did I also mention I am an over-analyzer?).

It feels very awkward writing to an audience that I have never met.  And the very nature of the topic means that I have to be vulnerable and honest.

I’m also hesitant because It takes time to blog. Time that could be spent watching a Real Housewives marathon and indulging in chocolate (okay, that desire is in my dreams…all actuality it’s time I could be doing laundry or another equally exciting household chore).

I also don’t want to be known as, “that girl who blogs about miscarriage.”  This is not an identity that defines me; I am a multi-faceted person.  I cry and I rejoice.  Don’t we all?

Vainly thoughts such as: Will anyone like me? Will I sit at the table with the popular bloggers? Or, will I be sitting all alone- banished to the outskirts of the cafeteria?
have also drifted through my mind.

Will I make God proud?

BUT IN THE END:

But then, I realized, with the help of my closest friends (thanks, Chrissi & Tonya!) that all those cons for blogging are just me being prideful and putting my own desires above sharing God’s love.  If I God can help one person through this blog then the mission is accomplished. Hard to argue with that point.

So, I am putting aside my pride and moving forward.

Join me. Help spread the message. Follow me. Share me on Facebook. Tweet me on Twitter. Pin me on Pinterest. Comment and tell me what topics you would like to address. Pray for this project. And, if you see a grammar error, send me a message. I can’t promise a prize, but I will say thanks and make an edit.

All the best,

Sarah

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

“I use the term miscarriage and pregnancy loss.  I don’t necessarily like those terms, but they are the words  people tend to search for on google.  Medical terminology can never fully capture the heartfelt loss of losing a loved baby in our wombs.

About Sarah

Sarah Lewis Philpott, Ph.D lives in the south on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her two mischievous children (and one little baby!) and is farm wife to her high school sweetheart. It's quite the chaotic household, but she adores the blessings God has provided. Sarah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Literary Agency. Her book, Loved Baby: 31 Devotions for Helping you Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, will be published in October '17 by Broadstreet Publishing. You'll be able to find it on Amazon, at Barnes & Nobles, and at other book retailers. She's a lover of coffee (black), rocking chairs, the outdoors, and Hemingway. Visit with Sarah at her All-American Mom blog where she writes about life on the farm and cherishing life in joy & in sorrow.

11 thoughts on “Why Am I Writing About Miscarriage?

  1. I am so glad to hear that you are writing this book. I suffered 2 miscarriages 17+ years ago, and felt so depressed and alone, and I felt like there were so few resources out there. So many women never talk about their experiences, even though it is quite common. Now I have 4 boys, and it’s hard to believe that I was concerned that I may never be able to have children! However, I was in a very dark place where I was grieving and concerned for the future. I try to be a source of hope for others whenever I hear about someone who is going through a miscarriage. Again, thank you for addressing this difficult topic.

    1. Sarah, thank you for taking your own hurt and turning it into a way to heal — both yourself and others. Your blog post about what not to say helped me so much in knowing how to help my step-daughter during a terrible time. I wish your book were already published, I would give one to every mother of a grown daughter that I know! I think this a very important and needed ministry.

      I know God will richly bless you in this, as much as your words have blessed me and others.

      1. I am just so pleased that this project is helping–not only the grieving parents, but also loved ones- like yourself- who surround the couple and want to offer support. Thank you for commenting:)

    2. I’m so sorry for your loses. Thank you for your kind words and support. I really appreciate you taking time to comment. I am just so prayful that this book will reach the hands of those grieving. I know you feel so blessed to have those four boys:) Best wishes!

  2. I had the agonizing experience of losing my first-born 6 1/2 months into the pregnancy. What a dark, dark time that was. It seemed as if no one wanted to acknowledge that I had lost a precious loved one. For 6 1/2 months I caressed him through my expanding tummy, sang and talked to him throughout the day of how much fun we were going to have together once he entered this world. We already had a strong bond. The feelings of guilt and emptiness were almost unbearable at times because no one was comfortable with the subject. I am so grateful that my doctor let me hold my little “Bud” after the delivery so I could tell his physical body good-bye. He would be 35 now and I imagine he would be as wonderful as his two younger siblings.
    Thank you, Sarah, for stepping out of your comfort zone and helping me, the others who shared their stories, and for all the other mothers and friends of those who have gone or will go through this painful event. God as a wonderful servant in you. Can’t wait to read the book.

  3. I too am happy to have a place to turn for real hands on help with this saddness. Too often I think the mother feels responsible-or undeserving of a child-and either response is not true-
    What really matters in these overwhelming sad times-is being there-for the person-sometimes words are not needed just your presence may be enough-or a note saying “I love you-friend” and “always will”!
    But having this as a guide will be most helpful-when I get a chance later today I intend to read more-thank you for following your path…and knowing WHO to thank! God is good.

    1. Thank you for taking time to comment. I completely agree with you, a simple “I love you friend” is the perfect phrase to give to a person grieving. Best wishes to you!

  4. I love your book concept my friend. I have so many close to me dealing with this…and they need a book to go to with real words that they can cling onto during those difficult nights. Love your vision!

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