What happens when your father tells you the words not now?
You cry. That’s what you do. Or pout. Or stomp. Or all three.
My husband hikes Mt. LeConte– one of the highest peaks in the Smoky Mountain National Park, and stays at the LeConte Lodge each year. He’s gone on this trek for the past twenty years.
This past October was extra-special. My husband took our eight-year old son with him.
It was a dream come true for both my guys.
However, our Titus had been told NO for four years prior to this picture. He’s been asking to go hike LeConte and stay the night since he was four.
Age 4: Nope. You are too little to hike LeConte.
Age 5: Nope. You are still too little to hike LeConte.
Age 6: Nope. Your legs need another year to gain strength. You can go when you are 7.
Age 7: Yes and then…No. (A month before the hike we had to break the news that we still didn’t think he was ready. He was devastated.)
Age 8: Yes. You get to go!
And go they did! Perry says Titus didn’t complain once about the strenuous ascent. While adults often moan and groan as they hike the narrow trail that tests the strength of many a thigh, our eight-year old was just so happy to be there…that he just kept trekking.
Later mountain top pictures were posted and everyone sent social media love & congrats!
However, like most accomplishments in life, most folks didn’t know the backstory.
All the times NO was uttered.
All the tears as a result of hearing the NO.
All the miles Tite spent walking with hiking boots on just to prove himself to his daddy.
The year he spent saving his money so he could buy himself a pair of hiking boots from Starr Mountain Outfitters.
You see, we didn’t think he was physically or mentally ready to handle the hike at the age of 4, 5, 6, or 7.
Our son certainly didn’t like hearing that NO.
But we gently assured him that our NO was NOT because we didn’t love him; in fact we explained that we were telling him NO because we did LOVE him.
(So that was a bad string of double negatives. That’s not tweetable in the least, but you get the picture).
But that’s hard to take in, isn’t it? Being told no.
Sometimes our pleads and prayers to our Heavenly Father are also answered with a no. or not now. or silence.
Are you in that season? Asking, but being met with a not now.
Perhaps you’ve been assured (by the Holy Spirit) of promises ahead, but you are currently having your patience tested to the millionth degree because the promise answer is not being delivered in the time YOU think best.
Kind of like our little man wanting to climb that mountain. We assured him that one day he would get to hike it…just not now. And his patience was tested.
I want to give you some gentle advice….
Try to stay anchored to the fact that HIS love abounds. And sometimes He just thinks we aren’t quite ready to climb to the top of that mountain.
Not because HE is mad at us. Not because HE is punishing us. But rather because HE loves us.
But one day…the promise keeper will deliver you to the glory field…in his timing.
and the JOY of the delivered promise will be breathtaking. Like this sunset.
But in the meantime go ahead and do what my little guy did.
He told his father exactly how he felt (hey…it’s okay to stomp our feet a little).
Then, after a bit of pouting, he accepted that the answer of his father was coming from a place of love. It wasn’t because he was being punished for wrong-doing.
And he got to work….eagerly anticipating the day he’d get to actually CLIMB. He didn’t sit back and wait. Nope he prepared himself physically and mentally for the day when he’d get to wake up before dawn and hike all day.
He waited with an expectant heart for the blessing he knew he was going to receive and he prepared himself for the journey ahead.
Finally, he gratefully accepted the blessing. Sure, the walk was still rough and filled with sweat and some pain, but he allowed gratitude to win. His smile says it all…he was thankful to GET to climb the mountain.
Are you in the season of not now? How are you preparing? Just know that NO isn’t always a consequence. Most often the no you are hearing is in all actuality a just not now…said from a place of LOVE. In the meantime…allow the fruit of patience and contentment to mature.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 ESV)
And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. (Isaiah 58:11 ESV).
Sarah Lewis Philpott, Ph.D, author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, lives in the south on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her three mischievous children and is farm wife to her high-school sweetheart. She is an award-winning writer & TODAY SHOW parenting team blogger.
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