Proud To Be An All-American Mom | Making Peace with the Imperfection of Motherhood

MAKE PEACE WITH THE IMPERFECTION


DEFINITION:

All-American: having qualities that are thought to be typical of people in the U.S.


One of Time’s cover story last month was, Help! My Parents Are Millennials.

I’m a millennial, but hanging on by the cusp.  I’m one of those millennials that played the Oregon Trail.

I winced while reading the report.  What bothered me awas the statistic that “Nearly 80% of millennial moms say it’s important to be “the perfect mom.”

Really?  I thought we were all a bit more enlightened by now.

From my experience, the only thing typical about being a mom is that we all live in imperfection. Can I get a big AMEN?

Recently my five-year old interrupted my shower with the breaking news that “Sister’s making some BIG mischief!”

She’s two.  I bolted out of the shower, grasped a towel, and bounded into our living room.  All looked fine.

Then Tite told me to “peek under the rug.”

And there it was.  Little Miss Sunshine had cracked a dozen eggs under my rug.  Not just any rug.  But a sea-grass rug that I had pinched pennies in order to purchase.

I shall not fib.  I screamed. At. The. Top. Of. My. Lungs.  Love was far from patient.

Both kids were banished to time-out with the sweet promise of an impending spanking.

Big brother was an accomplice in the matter.  He could have come and gotten me on the first egg crack, but he clearly waited until the twelfth.

Then the plot worsened.

As I moved the rug I uncovered remnants of dried-up egg shell under the other end.

In a quick and hostile inquisition. Tite admitted that, yes, a few weeks ago he too had cracked a few eggs under the rug.

I’m not typically a screamer, but my kids aren’t usually egg throwers.  All of us were shocked when my voice level continued to rise as I told them they were in time-out for an indefinite amount of time.

Tite crawled under the chair wailing, “Does this mean I don’t get to watch TV?  Oh no!  Is Christmas over?!  MAMA please don’t take away my Daddy from me.”


I giggle now.  But in the moment it was BAD.

And you’ve just learned two major points about me:  my kids aren’t perfect.  neither am I.

Truth be told…this is far from an abnormal glimpse into my life.  Raising young kids is unpredictable at best. Messy on most occasions.  And can riddle us with mommy guilt, can’t it?

Wait…Your kids are too engaged in educational activities and have no time for mischief.  Oh, you mean you don’t ever lose your temper.  Oh, you are a perfect housekeeper and would have noticed that eggs were under your rug.

Puuullllease…. We all know the truth.  We all fail…daily!  We don’t live Pinterest perfect lives or a bubble of pure Instagram smiles.

Instead we live in homes were we find a soup bowl full of white powder under our living room chair.  With a straw sticking out.  And we freak out for a split second because we fear someone in our house is a closet cocaine addict until we realize it’s just sugar that the five-year old was trying to smuggle (yeah…that happened to me last week).  I’m not sure if he snorted it.

I‘m an All-American Mom. And I bet you are too.  We live in a world where perfection is a-typical and super hard to achieve.

And you know what?  I’m okay with this. And I want you to be okay with it, too.  I don’t want 80% of population of mom’s striving for this elusive benchmark titled “perfection.”

It’s just too exhausting.  And ransacks the joy away from this pure gift of motherhood.

Can I let you in on some wisdom?  I’m an All-American Mom because I’m perfectly content with my less than perfect skills.

I’ve struggled recently with the title of my blog because I feel it gives the perception that I think I’m perfect.  Ha. Far from the truth.

All-American doesn’t mean I have it all together.  It just means I strive to have a clean house, a put-together self, and a kind kids, but I don’t sweat when mothering greatness can’t be achieved. Actually I laugh a lot at my failures.  I might cry, too.  But then I laugh again.

I’m just a typical mom with typical problems, but I’m saved by grace.

God gives us abundant grace.  Why don’t we give ourselves some?

It’s okay to strive for healthy meals, but land somewhere along the line of Lunchables.

It’s okay to invite household help into your life (and by help I mean Daniel Tiger and the Wild Kratt brothers…they are LIFESAVERS).

It’s okay to evolve.  My first child I cloth diapered.  My second child I do well enough to even get a disposable diaper on her.  I love them both.

Elf on the shelf is not for me.  Not because of some moral resolute, but because I know I would totally screw up the magic.

It’s okay to rock sweats one day and bright red lipstick and heals the next.  Do what you feel.

It’s okay not to take a homemade goody to every party we or our children attend.  Some days I might whip us something grand.  Other days I’m the one who takes the paper plates.

I try not to live by absolutes or legalism.  And I’ve happily given up on perfection.

You see, the reason that I chose to title my blog as the All-American mom is not because I think I’ve got it all figured out.  It’s because I’m just a typical representation of motherhood.  Struggling in the day to day of this oh so important task of raising up souls.

Mama’s, we’ve all got a bit of hypothetical dirt or yolk swept under our rugs.  Instead of stressing over it, let’s try to laugh. (I realize sometimes that’s hard…but in the aftermath of a good crying fit just allow yourself a giggle).

Realize tomorrow is a new day.  With new interesting obstacles that you never imagined possible.

Dear heart, this too shall pass.

Try to focus on finding joy in the everyday chaos, instead of finding yourself feeling totally inadequate in the quest of perfection.

And hold tight..our kids most likely won’t end up in jail.

Proverbs 31 | Sarah Philpott

Now go check and see what prizes your kids have left you under the rug!

 

(P.S….that above picture that looks like a perfect smile between the two of us….the reason we are both giggling?? He purposely passed gas on me.  There you have it.)

Love,

Sarah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Sarah

Sarah Lewis Philpott, Ph.D lives in the south on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her two mischievous children (and one little baby!) and is farm wife to her high school sweetheart. It's quite the chaotic household, but she adores the blessings God has provided. Sarah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Literary Agency. Her book, Loved Baby: 31 Devotions for Helping you Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, will be published in October '17 by Broadstreet Publishing. You'll be able to find it on Amazon, at Barnes & Nobles, and at other book retailers. She's a lover of coffee (black), rocking chairs, the outdoors, and Hemingway. Visit with Sarah at her All-American Mom blog where she writes about life on the farm and cherishing life in joy & in sorrow.

24 thoughts on “Proud To Be An All-American Mom | Making Peace with the Imperfection of Motherhood

  1. Ahhh thank you for your honesty here!! There is still such a perception that Moms need to have it all together. I am right there with you with not having it all together!!! 😉

  2. Sarah I love your All American mom blog. I was a. Very unorthodox mom single raised 3 kids by myself all the while working at The Lamppost and taking care of all my favorite customers every day thinking all the time I had to be perfect..never happened. ..well my kids are “grown” now and when those babies grow up it seems to magnify our inadequate rearing abilities ten fold, but they know I love them and I always did the best I could. Keep on blogging sister I miss you and Perry, send my love and your kids are gorgeous!

    1. Aww, Diane. Thank you so much for your kind words. Perry & I were just talking about you the other day…how we missed seeing you. You are an amazing woman. Always love your smile!

  3. This was too cute! I gasped when you mentioned the rug and how it was one you had saved for. Oh, my. I can only imagine. My little one isn’t old enough to get into too much right now, but I know the days are coming. I love your honesty and your extension of grace to all of us moms. We just do the best we can. Loved this!

    1. Ha. Yes…the rug was not my usual Target clearance purchase. Oh well. Thank you so much for your kind words and agreement that we all just do the best we can. Thanks so much for visiting.

  4. Augh. Yes! We all need to back away from the idea that any of us can be a perfect mom. Sure, some are better than others in some aspects but we’ve ALL got our flaws!

  5. Sarah,
    This is hilarious! I LOVE hearing other mom’s stories. It makes me feel “normal”. Emma has given us many similar type stories. Luckily eggs have not been involved. Yes, we do Elf On The Shelf, but only because it was given to us as a gift. It has turned out to be such fun. And yes, I have woken up wide-eyed at 3:00am realizing we forgot to move him. This self thing takes a lot of planning, but it is fun for me as much as it is for Emma. Keep sharing stories!

    1. Thank you Stacy! I bet you do have some funny stories. Keep up the good work with the Elf:) Maybe when I get my act together a bit more one can visit our house. It does look like so much fun.

  6. Oh my gosh I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS POST!!! Girl, you nailed it! And oh my goodness, EGGS??? Bless you for not doing more than screaming!! I love this so much. SO so so so much. Sharing!!

  7. Oh, you made me laugh! (only in a good way, of course) and quickly had me reminiscing about all the stuff our kids got into… and the times I yelled.

    Our son lit a tissue on fire, and then, hearing me come toward his room, threw it into a *wicker* waste-paper basket. Yeah. No massive fire, but there was the opportunity. You betcha I was yelling! A trip to the fire-department ensued, and a stern “talking-to” from the fire fighters happened. That’s about 20 years ago, and Alex is now an upstanding business owner, and soon-to-be father himself. So you’re right, they don’t always go to jail LOL

    I don’t think any mom EVER had it all under control, all the time. Fortunately, they all grow up. Eventually. 🙂

  8. This was an awesome post! It definitely had me laughing. My son is strangely non-mischievous, but my life is still far from perfect!

  9. Sarah, your transparency is refreshing, and so relatable. A critical aspect of the gospel is our own hopelessness apart from the grace of Christ. May our flaws compel us to press ever closer to Him! Thanks so much for sharing this with us at Grace & Truth!

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